@Nico: I’m no longer who I used to be. I’m a data analyst in a banking and financial captive BPO. Yet I’m not quite the person I want to become. I’ve ticked some boxes, hit milestones that younger me used to dream of. But there are days I wake up staring at the ceiling, wondering, is this it? Or is the good part still on its way? Then I open my phone and scroll. Engagements, promotions, shiny new EVs, Europe trips with sparkly captions like “Dreams do come true.” I want to be happy for them. I am, mostly. But deep down, I’m asking myself: When is it going to be my turn? It feels like I’m stuck in a chapter that doesn’t have a name yet. Not quite the struggling beginner anymore. But nowhere near the polished, put-together version I imagined I’d be by now. And honestly? It’s hard to love a life that still feels unfinished. What’s wrong with me?
DJ: There’s a part of the journey hardly anyone talks about. Not failure. Not success. Just the in-between. What appears to be a lull or a plateau. That feeling when things are okay but strangely unfulfilling. That’s why your words were true in a way real life often is.
They don’t tell us this in school, that our 20s and 30s aren’t just for climbing. They’re also for unraveling. Somewhere between “I made it!” and “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
What you’re going through is normal. Uncomfortable, too. Is it boredom? I’d rather see it as you ready for mature roles. A deeper version of success. So, what can you do?
No need to rush to fill what feels like a void. But do ask yourself what part of you has outgrown your current rhythm. What matters now? You’re not broken or failing. Priorities evolve. Sometimes we’re still chasing an outdated version of success thinking it’s what excites us. But you’re not who you were two or three years ago. Time to shift to a new direction.
The leadership award in college, for example, now feels hollow. That job offer years ago may have been exciting. But now what? Ask yourself whether this is still the right mountain to climb. We all want to make it. And this is the perfect opportunity to ask what “it” really is. What does success look like to you now? Not what others think it should be. Are you chasing goals aligned to your values or are you just chasing validation? If we take out money or recognition, would you still want it?
When you have that vision, reverse-engineer from there. It’s tempting to take quick wins like partying or gaming but don’t. They’re distractions that aren’t really helping at all. Rather dig deeper. Guard your energy. Not just your time. Unfollow or mute things on social media that trigger comparison. Curate your environment to support your focus and confidence.
Not all growth feels like fire. Sometimes, it feels like waiting. Everyone you and I admire has been where you are. Some people call it quarter life crisis or midlife crisis. Whatever. Everyone goes through a phase where we feel the fog. There is the thrill of beginning and the joy of arriving but let’s not forget that there will always be the in-between. That’s the advantage when you have a network of mentor or peers you can share your journey and draw strength from. Nurture such relationships. And if you have not done it just yet, I suggest you that you do.
The in-between can feel endless. But every great story has a middle chapter. This is where character is built, strategies are tested and resilience is earned. You are not stuck. You are a work in progress. Keep on keeping on!