@JIM STARK: As the middle child among my seven siblings, I find myself at a crossroads, sandwiched between the remarkable success of my elder siblings within our family’s enterprises and the academic prowess displayed by my younger brothers and sisters. I did earn a few accolades albeit inconsistently. I also strayed from the familiar terrain of our family business. I ventured into entrepreneurship, determined to manifest my own vision. Regrettably, my venture reached its demise in August of this year. Now I’m working freelance. I’m also torn between returning back to my parents’ business or persisting in proving my ability to stand on my own. I now have doubts, frankly speaking. Was I right to follow my dream? I’m only admitting it here but I am scared too of what my future will be. Any thoughts? In case you’re in my situation, what would you do?
DJ: A few years ago, I got axed from a job for a point of reason. Just before Christmas. It also felt like I hit a career wall. But fast forward, a killer opportunity popped up and life did a total 180. If it weren’t for that life-changing moment, I’d probably still be stuck doing the same old grind, wouldn’t have snagged bigger far-reaching roles with major brands or taken the plunge into entrepreneurship.
With your venture going belly-up, it’s understandable if sadness, disappointment, even regret, are reaching an all-time high. You poured your heart and soul only for it to come crashing down. That doesn’t mean you are a failure. You’re a brave man for pursuing your vision. You’re living your life. That’s something to admire. You can also balance that stick-to-it-attitude with knowing when to call it quits. You are savvy. I’m giving you a virtual high-five!
I’m sure you’ve heard about J.K. Rowling. The world’s first billionaire author. Before Harry Potter took over the world, she was a single mom, scraping by on government help, on the brink of being homeless. Her first manuscript got a no from 12 publishers before she hit the jackpot. I understand if you’re grieving. I also hope that you’re leveraging the lessons learned. What went south and why? Was it operations, reliance on just one big shot customer? Was it tech who let you down? Figure out what’s the deal, man. What can you do differently? The upside of starting over is the opportunity to create a better prepared, more seasoned and much wiser version 2.0 of yourself.
It is fine to listen to people who matter when assessing your life. You can use this to introspect your direction, your priorities and the choices available to you. What is not okay is to compare yourself to others and label yourself as an underachiever. With respect to what? You’re already an adult. It should be with respect to your rules, goals, your strengths, your timeframe. No one has it all at the same time. Ever! Your sibs included. So, as you move forward with life, I suggest that you define your own success and be an achiever in your own right.
I’m sure you’re already aware of the cons of working for your family. Allow me to point out the pros. You’re collaborating with people you trust and care about. Instead of having to wade through multiple layers of bureaucracy, family-run businesses are often more flexible. If you need a green light for a project, for example, you’re likely to get the nod or at least spark a discussion about it quicker. Working for dad and mom is certainly not a bad idea. Weigh that versus the clarity of starting over solo. Remind yourself who you are and why you are doing what you do.
The key move? Tuck the ego away and apply the hard-earned smarts. This leads to smarter choices that enable you to make the end of one thing the joy of a new beginning. Think about it as you celebrate the holidays!