@MARY_SY: I need to talk to someone who won’t judge me. Naturally, I chose you.
My ex is doing better than me. He’s thriving. He’s now a senior executive at one of the BPO companies. His skin is clear. Meanwhile, me? I’m still eating a hotdog sandwich from a 7-Eleven store.
And don’t even get me started on his Instagram — sunsets, surfing, Siargao. I cried in the shower this morning because I accidentally heard our song while brushing my teeth. We used to sing it together while in Ministop.
And it’s not that I want him back. I don’t. Probably.
It’s just… why does it look like he won? It feels like I got left behind at the starting line while he got sponsored by Nike.
DJ:I read your letter while sipping a lukewarm 7-Eleven coffee. Okay. Deep breath.
He didn’t cheat. He didn’t gaslight. He didn’t disappear into the void with your Netflix password. He’s just… doing well. Maybe even too well. And that’s what stings. It feels like he got the smoother landing — like he bounced forward while you got stuck in the ache.
Look, at least you’re blessed with strong Wi-Fi to stalk your ex.
Seriously, missing a good person doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice. It means you’re human. You shared something real. Something that mattered. It’s okay to let the ache be there — without letting it anchor you.
Thriving isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it looks like brushing your teeth through tears and still showing up for work. The kind of power that’s never posted on IG.
You don’t need to bounce back in a week. Just make sure you’re processing your feelings, not just scrolling. Notice what triggers comparison and step away. Is it a new girl? Their gym photos? Mute it. Pause it. Walk away. Not forever — just until it stops poking the bruise.
Blocking is not for revenge. It’s self-preservation too. Do this in memory of your failed relationship. Give yourself space to recalibrate. Silence can be healing — even digitally.
Remember as well that what you’re comparing is often just his highlight reel. What you feel is your behind-the-scenes chaos. Never assume that someone else’s peace is deeper than yours just because it’s photogenic.
Besides, your ex is not your benchmark. Neither is your college batchmate who is now starring in Vivamax. You know what I mean.
Stay in your lane. This is not a race. This is life.
Instead of asking, “Why am I not where he is?” try asking, “What kind of life do I want to build?” This one shifts you from shame to vision. From looking back to looking forward.
There’s no need to outshine him. Just outgrow the version of yourself that needs his — or anyone’s — validation.
Be with people who sit with you, not rush you out of it.
One day you’re crying to your old playlist. The next, you’re laughing about it over 3-in-1 coffee in Ministop. Both days count.
Protect your peace like your phone’s at one percent and there’s no charger in sight.
Healing is often easier when your hands are busy. Learn something. Write something. Create something. Based on experience, doing so makes you focus less on what’s gone — and have more hope instead for what’s next.
Rewrite the script of your story.
“I’m not good enough” becomes “I’m learning.”
Comparison is a thief — not just of joy, but of focus.
Seize this moment as the start of your own becoming.
And trust me, becoming always wins in the long run.