@VERY WORRIED:I need someone to talk to. I’m already extending my college studies for another year because I failed three subjects in the past. My parents knew about those failures and accepted that I needed more time to finish. But last semester, I failed another subject. I haven’t told my parents yet. I’m scared that I will disappoint them all over again. All my siblings finished their studies with honors. And then there’s me. Why am I not as intelligent as them? My parents have already given me so much time. I don’t know how to tell them, and I don’t know what to do next.
DJ:Failing another subject does not mean you are a failure. But it does mean that something needs to change. And the sooner you face it, the better.
I understand why you are afraid to tell your parents. You already feel that you have disappointed them. Knowing that your siblings graduated with honors probably makes the comparison even harder. But hiding the failure will only make the fear bigger. Tell them before they find out from someone else.
Choose a time when everyone is calm and there are no other pressing issues. If one parent is more understanding, you can tell that parent first and ask him or her to help you tell the other. Otherwise, you can tell them together.
Don’t just bring them bad news. Bring them a plan. If you don’t know the solution yet, your first step can simply be getting the facts from your school. When can the subject be retaken? Will it really add another semester or year? Are there academic policies or options that could help you get back on track? What specifically caused you to fail, and what academic support is available so you don’t repeat it?
Let your parents be disappointed. Sometimes parents need time before they can move from “Why did you do this?” to “Okay, what do we do now?” The issue is not whether you’re as intelligent as your siblings. The immediate issue is what happened, what you can learn from it, and what you are going to do differently.
The goal of the conversation isn’t to make your parents feel okay immediately. The goal is to stop hiding, take responsibility, and start moving forward. Do it for yourself.
Are you struggling because you haven’t put in enough effort, or because you genuinely have difficulty understanding the concepts even when you try? There is a difference between finding a subject difficult and finding the nature of the course uninteresting. If the coursework consistently feels disconnected from your interests and strengths, that matters. Does the course heavily depend on areas where you consistently struggle? Are your strengths being used at all?
Someone might be struggling through an accounting subject but still enjoy analyzing businesses and working with numbers. That’s a difficult subject, not necessarily the wrong course. But if someone consistently dislikes the core activities of the program, like technical problem-solving, troubleshooting or figuring out how devices work, that may be a fit issue worth exploring.
Take the time to understand yourself. Not just your grades. The objective is not to find an excuse for failing. It is to understand the failure accurately. Then decide what needs to change — your habits, your support system, your approach to the course or possibly the course itself.
What matters now is not how far behind you are, but what you choose to do from where you are. Do keep me posted on whatever you decide.
