@SWEET: I heard you speak at the conference. You spoke like someone who’s walked the path and made it out wiser. So here I am. I’ve been in the corporate world for more than 10 years. This is only my second job. I came in hopeful. Updated my LinkedIn. Treated friends to coffee. Posted one of those vaguely humble-braggy IG captions. It felt like a big step. Like I was finally where I wanted to be. But now… I don’t know. Seemingly small things. A suggestion met with a smile and, “That’s not how it’s done here.” A question answered with a half-joke about not rocking the boat. A lingering sense that honesty is quietly discouraged. I can’t explain it fully. Nothing explosive has happened. I guess I’m writing because I need help naming this. Is this just about what it takes to survive? Or are these signs I shouldn’t ignore?
DJ: It took me a while to process your concern. Over the years, I’ve encountered many red flags, so many that it’s difficult to narrow them down to just a few. But based on my experience, and those of people I know, some of the toughest red flags are subtle and social. You feel them, but you don’t always see them. And often, they’re disguised as opportunities.
“We’re like a family here.” Genuine warmth and care? Great. Especially for us Filipinos. But when the family narrative shifts from performance to proximity — where closeness to the boss, quiet compliance and behind-the-scenes alliances matter more than actual contribution — it becomes a culture that feeds on false harmony. More so when success is measured by agreement rather than contribution. A healthy workplace values honesty. Not just harmony. It rewards competence. Not just connection. It allows space for disagreement without making it personal. And it treats feedback as a gift. Not a betrayal.
You’re praised publicly but unsupported privately. Managers know better than to criticize people in front of others. So they do the reverse. You’re given the spotlight on stage but left without support backstage. You’re the high performer until someone crosses a line. Maybe it’s a client who disrespects you, or a colleague who takes credit for your work. Leadership says nothing. Praise without action is performance theater. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is this: when someone’s words and actions don’t match, believe the action. The best leaders don’t just compliment their people. They advocate for them when it counts.
“We don’t do things by the book, but it works.” At first, it sounds like agility. Resourcefulness. A company that gets things done. Then you start to notice unofficial payments made to speed things up, reimbursements that don’t match actual expenses, questionable dealings with clients paired with a culture that discourages too many questions. It’s fraud in disguise. And the worst part? If you’re part of the process, you could be held accountable. Do not compromise your ethical standards. Even when it’s inconvenient. Especially when it is.
Everyone’s leaving but no one’s asking why. If you’re the fifth person in your role this year, that’s not a fast-paced but a revolving door. If exit interviews don’t happen, or the reasons people leave are ignored, your stability is at risk.
When I was younger, there were times I questioned whether I was just imagining things or if those were already signs. The writing on the wall. Now I can tell you that sensing what so many couldn’t name early on could be a strength, not a weakness.
The best workplaces aren’t perfect. But they build cultures where values aren’t optional. And they don’t just talk about integrity. They operationalize it. If it helps, keep talking to people you trust. Clarity often comes in conversation. And if ever you need a sounding board again, you know where to find me.