@ MVP: I’m writing this because something’s been on my mind. That not-so-subtle pressure to find “the one” and settle down now that I’m in my early 30s. Life’s been good. My advertising career has taken off in ways I once only imagined. The condo is super nice. EV is cool. But with success comes the raised eyebrows, the knowing glances and the well-meaning but honestly tiring questions from titas and friends: “Why are you still single?” Loneliness hits sometimes. But it’s not just for singles. Even friends in relationships wrestle with it in different ways. How do you protect your peace from pressure, from the stares and side comments that make it seem like something’s wrong with you?
DJ: You mean the inquiries that come with the same intensity as a barangay tanod on patrol? Crazy, right? Especially when you’re crushing it in your career and building a life you genuinely enjoy. When I was your age, I already knew that if I measured my life by other people’s checklists, I’d be miserable. Marriage by 30? Kids by 32? If that works for others, great. But I hope people will also respect what success looks like for me. Because I’ve seen what rushing gets people. It’s rarely happiness. Or peace.
A study in the UK by the Marriage Foundation reported that couples who “slide” into marriage because of family pressure are up to 50 percent more likely to divorce than those who didn’t identify those reasons. Think about that! And it’s not an isolated finding. Another research released last year by Couples Learn based in California also found that couples who passively move through milestones such as marriage without deliberate, mutual decisions tend to have lower relationship quality and higher risk of problems.
How do they connect to your journey? Rushing through a relationship because of pressure is a significant predictor of marital distress. Being single is not a delay. It’s a decision. Whether conscious or circumstantial, that reflects you’re building a life on your own terms.
Loneliness swings by, sure. But so does peace, progress and uninterrupted gaming. With a solid career, you’re in a good position to max out those investments. Look into real estate. Maybe even plot your soft retirement before 45. Being single might not fill your heart on Valentine’s, but it could fill your bank account by Christmas. Use this time to build.
Deepen your non-romantic connections too. Hang out with friends. Have real talks over sisig and beer. Check in on your siblings. Spend slow time with your parents. Join a civic group that reflects your values and gives you a reason to shower and leave the condo on weekends. Over time, I’ve seen that your love life may change. But the core people? They’re the ones who stay through the seasons. And they don’t require dinner reservations at Mott 32.
Besides, traveling solo is the ultimate life cheat code. Per my experience. It’s your pace, your playlist, no itinerary debates. You can eat unfamiliar food without drama. Book that spontaneous weekend trip to Siargao. Explore the highlands of Cebu. Or go plan that solo adventure to Kota Kinabalu and pretend you’re in a Nat Geo docu with better Wi-Fi.
Besides, with everything you’ve achieved, you’ve got wisdom worth sharing. Volunteer. Mentor someone just starting out. It’s a solid way to give back and stay grounded. Helping someone find their footing brings a quiet kind of high. The kind that lingers longer than applause or promotions.
Whether “the one” walks into your life tomorrow or years from now, the most important thing is you’re genuinely happy along the way. If love happens, it’ll be because you chose it. Not because you settled. And if it doesn’t? Then you’ll still have built an extraordinary, fulfilling life on your own terms. And that’s something no timeline or relationship status can ever take away.