@K: It’s been almost two years since I ended things with M. No cheating. No shouting matches. Just a quiet, growing realization that we were on different timelines, wanting different things. He wanted to settle down. I wanted to explore the world — apply for that graduate program in Amsterdam, say yes to jobs abroad and not feel guilty for dreaming beyond our city.
He never made me feel small for my ambitions. In fact, he was the first person who truly believed in them. But the closer I got to leaving, the more I realized how tightly his future dreams were rooted in the Philippines — family, business, network. I knew I couldn’t ask him to drop everything. And I couldn’t ask myself to shrink.
So, I let M go. I don’t regret leaving. But I miss him. Deeply. Sometimes unbearably. Why do I still ache for the person I walked away from?
DJ: When the goodbye wasn’t angry, when love still lingered and when someone like M showed you steady belief, it’s only human to look back and wonder. Especially when the memories return in quiet moments, sharp and soft at the same time.
Part of you still honors what you had. That’s not a weakness. That’s depth. Love, after all, doesn’t vanish just because the direction changed. It was okay to leave. It was necessary for who you were becoming. You didn’t walk away from love lightly. You walked away because you and he were no longer walking toward the same horizon.
You didn’t choose ambition over love. You chose alignment. You chose a life where you could stretch without guilt — a life where saying yes to yourself wasn’t a compromise but a calling.
On the flip side, M appears to me as someone who wasn’t just a good man. He believed in you. The quiet, everyday kind of way that matters. He didn’t flinch when your goals grew bolder. He didn’t shrink when your world started expanding. He stood beside you, not to hold you back, but to steady you as you reached further. He didn’t ask you to tone it down. He didn’t see your ambition as a threat or a phase.
He saw you for who you truly are. And he chose to stay in your corner anyway. A love like that doesn’t come around often.
It’s been almost two years since you ended things with M. Maybe the real question isn’t whether you were right to leave. Maybe it’s this: was the dream worth letting go? If the timing had been different, could the love have lasted? Or were your differences always going to catch up eventually? Only you can answer that.
What matters most is that you keep being honest with yourself as you love, as you grow.
If M is single, you can reach out. Not with expectations, but with honesty. Ask for a conversation, not a commitment. You don’t need to pick up where you left off. Just acknowledge what once was and explore what could be, if anything. Sometimes the most healing act is simply saying, “You mattered. You still do.”
But if he’s no longer available, then honor that. Pour your energy into living fully the life you chose. Reflect on whether your dreams have evolved. You chose Amsterdam. You chose growth. Freedom. The possibility of a life without regrets.
So live it — not as a consolation prize but as your actual dream. Recommit to the version of yourself who was brave enough to walk away, not because you didn’t love him, but because you knew you owed yourself a chance to see what else was possible.
We all evolve. Our dreams do too. And that doesn’t mean you were wrong then. It just means you’re still growing now.
So keep choosing forward. With honesty. With courage. With compassion for the girl who walked away and for the woman who’s ready for what comes next.