SOME people, mostly men, call me a feminist. I’m not sure I’m one. Rightly or wrongly, the word “feminist” somehow conjures up images of rabid, angry, bra-burning women marching in the streets.
But I have never burned any bras. I have never marched in the streets. I do get angry a lot of times—but not necessarily due to male oppression, mostly due to inefficiency and idiocy. But this has nothing to do with gender. Men and women are equal opportunity offenders.
And I’m an equal opportunity reprimander. I berate you for your behavior, not your gender.
I do have strong views about men and women. But I wouldn’t call myself bigoted, irrational or extremist which is what rabid would be all about.
I don’t espouse the idea that all sex is rape and that all men are potential rapists. I don’t doubt that consensual sex between men and women can actually exist. I don’t believe feminism can be advanced by practicing religions based on female deities. And I certainly don’t believe heterosexuality is the root of all oppression.
I don’t think women should be boxed into the roles of caregivers and homemakers but I don’t think any less of women who choose these roles over and above being breadwinners and commanders-in-chief.
Because as we fight for parity, we also fight for the freedom to choose to be what we want to be.
My mother devoted her life to making a home for her husband and children. And it wasn’t because she was lacking in skills or intelligence. She was a homemaker because she wanted to be one. And how lucky we were for her choice.
I like being commander in the battlefield but like my mother, I am happiest taking care of a home. And I say this with pride—unafraid that you will see me as weak, unintelligent, incapable or lacking in ambition.
I am not comfortable being labeled feminist because I am not sure I am one.
I will vote for you not because you’re a woman but because you are the better candidate. I will hire you not because you’re a woman but because you are the better applicant. I will defend you not because you’re a woman but because you are right.
If feminism means being biased for women, then, I am not a feminist. And can never be one.
Should women be freed from stereotypical roles? Yes. But the essence of female emancipation lies in the freedom to choose what to think, what to believe, what to say, what to do, what to wear, what to be, without fear of being lynched.
If that is feminism then I am a feminist.
Do I like being commander in the battlefield? Yes. Can I step aside to make way for someone else to assume leadership? In a heartbeat, I will yield to a wiser, braver and better commander. Regardless of gender.
Do I sound like a feminist? You tell me. Frankly, I prefer to be called a woman.
Happy International Women’s Day!