Before you check your bank account, your messages, or your to-do list, check the conversation in your head. That little voice may be the biggest factor in whether you win or lose in life and business.
If you want to know the person who truly decides whether you succeed or fail, look in the mirror. It’s you. And it’s not just about what you do; it’s about what you say to yourself every single day.
Your self-talk is the running commentary in your mind: the words (120-up to 400 per minute) you use when you think about your goals, your problems, your failures, and your future. That inner voice can be your greatest coach or your harshest critic.
I was fortunate to discover Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz in my 30s. Many of today’s personal development experts built their methods on this 1960 classic. It taught me that what you say to yourself is as important as the actions you take.
When challenges hit our family business—whether it was a sudden drop in sales, the devastation of Typhoon Odette, or the Covid-19 lockdowns—my first step wasn’t to run the numbers or call a meeting. It was to check my own thinking and ask:
“Am I speaking to myself in a way that gives me the strength to act?”
Over the years, I’ve learned three truths about self-talk that apply to both life and business:
1. Negative self-talk kills momentum.
If you keep telling yourself you’re not good enough, not ready, or bound to fail, your actions will follow that belief. As a rookie entrepreneur, I often thought, “I’m not experienced enough to compete with the big players.” That thinking alone nearly kept us from expanding our family business.
2. Positive, realistic self-talk builds resilience.
This isn’t about sugarcoating reality or ignoring problems. It’s telling yourself, “I can handle this” or “I’ll find a way.” When we closed some underperforming restaurants, I could have thought, “This is the beginning of the end.” Instead, I told myself, “This is pruning so we can grow again.” And we did.
3. Self-talk shapes decisions, and decisions shape destiny.
Every business problem demands decisions. The quality of those decisions is tied to your state of mind. A confident, clear-headed entrepreneur makes better calls than one weighed down by doubt.
Here’s a habit worth building:
• Catch the negative scripts. Notice when you’re thinking, “I can’t” or “This is hopeless.”
• Replace with empowering truth. Shift to, “I can learn this” or “This is tough, but I’ve faced worse.”
• Repeat until it sticks. Like compound interest, the more you invest in positive self-talk, the greater the return.
You can’t control everything that happens to you. But you can control what you tell yourself about it. Guard that inner conversation, because in the end, what you say to yourself is what you believe. And what you believe will shape your future.