From the moment Judas identified Jesus with a kiss, betrayal has stood as one of the most painful human experiences—a pattern that continues to resonate in modern relationships.
More than 2,000 years later, psychology offers insight into why such experiences leave lasting wounds. When trust is broken by someone close, it is not only the relationship that collapses, but also a person’s sense of safety, meaning, and emotional security.
Registered psychologist and psychometrician Jhaymar Garcia, in an interview with SunStar Cebu on Wednesday, April 1, 2026, said betrayal is particularly painful because it violates trust, a core foundation of close relationships.
He explained that when people build a certain level of closeness, betrayal tends to hurt more because it breaks the sense of stability formed within that connection, making the experience deeply personal.
The betrayal of Jesus by Judas is one of history’s most well-known examples of trust being broken despite close bonds.
“Unlike ordinary conflict, betrayal challenges not only the relationship but also one's expectations about safety, reliability, and emotional connection,” Garcia said.
“In some cases, it may also be experienced as a form of relational or interpersonal trauma, particularly when the relationship is highly significant,” he added.
Judas’ actions show how betrayal can come from someone deeply trusted, leaving both emotional and spiritual consequences.
Garcia said grieving the relationship after betrayal is normal, with individuals often experiencing denial, anger, and sadness.
While acceptance may come in time, emotional reactions often unfold in no particular order, he said, with individuals grieving not just the person but also the trust, shared identity, and future plans once tied to the relationship.
Betrayal can serve as a reminder that even close relationships can face serious breaches of trust, as seen in Judas’ betrayal of Jesus.
Red flags
People can feel stunned by betrayal, even when warning signs are present.
Garcia said this is because the mind tries to preserve the belief that trusted individuals are reliable, often downplaying or ignoring red flags.
“In hindsight, the signs may appear obvious, but at the time, emotional investment and hope for change can make it difficult to fully accept the possibility of betrayal,” he said.
Life goes on
Forgiveness can aid healing if it is genuine and self-directed, Garcia said, but it should not be forced.
He explained that rushing forgiveness or doing it under pressure can hinder emotional recovery and stressed that forgiving someone doesn’t always mean restoring the relationship.
“Healing involves acknowledging emotions, setting boundaries, and restoring a sense of self—whether or not forgiveness becomes part of that process,” Garcia said.
Victims of betrayal are advised to learn from past experiences without letting them undermine future relationships, stay mindful of balanced thinking by recognizing that not everyone will betray them, and seek professional help if trust issues begin affecting daily life. (DPC)