Gymnast Carlos Yulo recently became a sportsman-hero for Filipinos after winning two gold medals in the Paris Olympics. But after the veil that shrouded his personal life was lifted, he quickly became a heel to many and largely got bashed on social media. What the people saw was not his heroics and perseverance but the way he treated his family even as he basked in the glow of his triumph in Paris with his girlfriend Chloe San Jose.
It turned out that Yulo had been carrying his baggage while training for the Paris Olympics. His relationship with his mother got strained primarily because of money issues, and this was compounded by the entry of his girlfriend into his life. Chloe was a fan who had no qualms inserting herself into the equation even if it affected Yulo’s relationship with his family.
I am a fan of the Beatles and this reminded me of Yoko Ono’s relationship with the band’s leader, the late John Lennon. Ono started off as a Beatles fan and ended up inserting herself, for good or bad, into Lennon’s life. There were those who insisted that Ono’s presence in Lennon’s life produced a strain in the band’s personal relations leading to their breakup. I don’t think that way as a fan but some people believe what they believe.
Some Yulo fans now paint Chloe as the “kontrabida” in Yulo’s life and that she is the reason for Yulo’s strained relationship with his family. Others, though, blame the mother, Angelica, for allegedly mishandling Yulo’s earnings leading to their estrangement. But Filipino culture often sides with the mother over the child, that is why Yulo is now shunned by Filipinos who reserve huge respect for mothers in a familial setting.
Which reminds me of our first Olympic gold medalist Hidilyn Diaz, who has remained an idol for many Filipinos because she has largely managed to retain the strong familial bond that helped catapult her to stardom. Diaz was not a Paris Olympics participant but has managed to “pay it forward,” training a new generation of weightlifters sans controversies like the one now hounding Yulo.
This also reminds me of another sports icon, Manny Pacquiao, who was able to strengthen the familial bond that was the underlying strength in his rags to riches story. People laugh at Mommy Dionisia not only for her thick Visayan accent but also for her seeming failure to adjust well to a life of riches after enduring the hardships that she, Manny and her family endured for a time. Pacquiao’s relationship with Dionisia and his wife, Jinky, is an example that many want Carlos Yulo to learn from.
I am a family man, that was why I was shocked when years ago a good friend of mine sued his mother over what he perceived was her failure to give him his just share of their inheritance. I thought that it was a rich family thing because, coming from a poor family, I don’t have much of an inheritance to fight for.
But I could sense my friend’s sadness when his mother passed away. I could sense that whatever animosity he harbored vanished when their relationship faced the reality of their own mortality.