Actress Candy Pangilinan shared her journey as a mother to her 21-year-old son, Quentin, who was diagnosed with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and autism, during her guest appearance on the “Time First” podcast hosted by P-pop boy group SB19.
In the one-hour podcast, Pangilinan said she was in shock and struggled to process the news about her son’s condition.
According to Pangilinan, “Lord, help” was the first phrase that came out of her mouth when she realized it would be a tough battle. She admitted the experience challenged her mentally and made her feel unfortunate to be facing such a difficult situation all at once.
At that time, Candy was just 12 months postpartum, her physical appearance had changed, she was unemployed, and she had just broken up with Quentin’s father.
Determined to support her son, Candy studied therapy techniques and processes used by the professionals and was able to take on the responsibility of administering it at home. Every session, Quintin struggles, and watching her kid endure the difficulties hurts her the most. Yet, she remains hopeful that it will soon pay off.
“I always remind myself that this is for his own good. I will let him make mistakes and endure the pain now, because the time will come when he will appreciate all my efforts,” she said.
As a mother of a child with special needs, Candy made sure that everyone around Quentin understood his behavior. She brings family members and caregivers to every therapy session. It is to let them observe and understand what her son is going through and inform their goals for Quentin's condition.
During the podcast, one of the hosts praised her for being a good mother, emphasizing how lucky Quentin is. Candy acknowledged that both of them are lucky for having each other. She shared how Quentin changed her life. Her situation let her discover so many things about herself and her capabilities. It pushes her to be better and more responsible.
“I am also lucky, because I would not be who I am right now without my son,” she said.
However, despite her resilience, Candy admitted there are moments she experienced emotional breakdowns. But she was able to get through it with deep breaths and prayers, always embracing difficulties as opportunities for growth and learning.
Now that Quentin is growing older, managing his tantrum episodes has become more challenging. Candy would often hear hurtful words from other people who misunderstood her son; they sometimes labeled him a “brat.” But Candy always stayed compassionate, reminding herself that everyone fights their own battle every day. “Let it be. I’m quite sure they have their own struggles too,” she said.
Candy also shares what she fears. She fears death, thinking about what will happen to her son if she dies, knowing her son only has her. Quentin has no siblings and only a few friends, as people around him are having a hard time relating to and understanding him.
“If I die, what will happen to him? ” she noted.
For her, being a mother of a neurodivergent child, she can never be ready to leave her son behind. Even with insurance and investments being prepared for Quentin’s future, she is never ready, especially given his mental capacity and vulnerability.
Beyond motherhood, Candy continues her showbiz career. She starred in and wrote her latest movie entitled “Roadtrip,” drawing inspiration from her own experiences and struggles. The movie emphasizes the importance of checking on your loved ones, a message close to her heart.
She also calls on fans to be more understanding with her, as she is often misunderstood by a lot of people labeling her as ”masungit.” She is a comedian actress, and people would expect her to be always outgoing and bubbly. She explains that despite being a comedian, she is human and faces struggles like anyone else. Above all, she is a mother who always has to take good care of her son.
In her final message on the podcast, Candy believed that her story reminds everyone to be grateful. Witnessing the struggles her son goes through every day—extreme effort to speak, stand, hold things, and communicate, which many people take for granted—has deepened her appreciation for the simple things she has.
’If sometimes anger feeds you, just remind yourself that the air is free,” she said, with humor and deep meaning. (Iresh Jane Sanico, Davao del Sur State College)