ALTHOUGH many people think that Christmas is the best time of year because of all the gifts and celebrations, this isn't necessarily the case because other people may be spending Christmas somewhat differently than they did the year before.
When the ‘ber’ months come knocking into the lives of Filipinos, Lourhenz Igloria, a 23-year-old Dabawenya from JS Francisco Village, Talomo, Davao City, and her family will then exchange gifts to celebrate the holiday season, they would even organize games for the neighborhood kids further spreading love and joy to the people around them and go celebrate with their relatives in the city.
But Lourhenz and her sister will be spending Christmas this year without their family incomplete; on April 12, 2023, Edna Igloria, the sisters' mother, passed away from stage four ovarian cancer.
“Honestly, I lost the spirit to celebrate Christmas, there is just no excitement feeling for me unlike before,” Lourhenz said.
She mentioned that she used to get excited about December since it's finally the season of giving. She usually distributes gifts to everyone because she can feel it in her bones that the season of giving has finally arrived, but this year she would only give presents to the people she values most.
Her Christmas wish this year is to celebrate the holiday season in the province where her relatives are living, to the place where the loved ones of her mother are residing but with her and her sister’s busy schedules, they may find it hard to do, but she is hopeful that they will be able to go home to their province this month.
Donna Stephanie Claire Agcambot, a resident of Deca Homes Resort Residences, said that every Christmas, she and her family used to gather together with their relatives on their father’s side where they would exchange gifts and catch up with each other's lives but this annual family tradition came to a halt when the oldest matriarch of their family Ana A. Agcambot, to her “apos” Lola Aning passed away last August 17, 2022. She was 88.
The passing of Lola Aning was most painful to Donna who grew up in her care. Donna said that she misses her Lola so much but is happy to know that she will no longer feel any more pain.
For a year, the Agcambot family refused to continue the family tradition and merely celebrated the holiday season with their respective family.
“Last year was a sad Christmas for our family since we are still grieving for Lola's death. So, we chose to celebrate Christmas only with our respective families. For the first time, there was no gathering,” Donna shared.
But this year, Donna and her relatives chose to celebrate Christmas together, “ We wanted to celebrate Christmas the way we used to celebrate it, even without Lola. Lola always cherished her family so much and we know that she'll be happy in heaven knowing that her family is still united and still supports and cherishes each other, even after her passing.”
Her only wish this Christmas is for everyone to be happy and to be free of emotional or mental stress.
Mary Joyce G. Yanson, a 21-year-old Customer Service Representative (CSR) from Purok 22, Saluroha Village, Talomo, narrated how she used to celebrate the season of giving with her family even if they do not have any food prepared for Noche Buena, as long as their family is complete it is a cause to celebrate for them.
However, Mary Joyce and her family will not be celebrating their Christmas this year as a complete family when they lost their eldest sister Jingky G. Yanson on December 9, 2023, to a malignant tumor that further escalated to cancer.
“For the last time, yes since dli paman siya ilubong amoa siya ipaabot ug christmas bahalag dli na namo ma feel iyang presence basta lang makita pa namo siya bahalag last pasko na namo na kami upat ug bahala bisag siya naa na sa lungin (For the last time, yes, since we will still not bury her, we’ll wait until Christmas even though we will no longer feel her presence as long as we can still see her because this is our last Christmas that we four are complete even if she is already in a coffin),” Mary Joyce said in sadness.
What Mary Joyce wants most this Christmas season is to spend at least one more time with her sister, one day to spend all the time with her, spoil her with everything she wants, and take her wherever she wants to go.
You are not alone.
Lourhenz expressed that it is difficult to celebrate Christmas without your loved ones; she said that those who are still grieving to not hold back and let their emotions flow and let it all go because God is watching. The Lord knows what is on your mind and in your heart.
Similarly, Donna said “Celebrating Christmas without the presence of your loved one will hurt badly, especially that you'll never see her/him again. Don't bottle up your emotions - it's okay to cry and grieve. It may be a sad Christmas and New Year for you this year but don't let your emotions consume you. Always remember that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It may take time, but everything will be okay.”
Meanwhile, Mary Joyce encourages everyone who is in the same situation as her to be strong and to always keep the memories of their departed loved ones in their hearts.
“Sa uban pamilya naka sinati ug parehas saakoa mag paka lig on kita ug atoa japon i make sure na when we celebrate Christmas or any special celebration ubanon ug dli nato sila kalimtan dli man nato sila kauban physically but kabaalo ta naa lang sila mag guide saatoa (To those families who experienced the same thing as us, be strong and when we celebrate Christmas or any special celebration let us keep our departed loved ones in mind, let us not forget them because even though we do not see them physically but they are still there to guide us),” May Joyce said.
Celebrating Christmas differently may be scary and oftentimes it could be overwhelming but those who lost their loved one this year and are celebrating Christmas may heart find solace in the fact that you are not alone in celebrating Christmas this year. RGP