I SOMETIMES wonder if I am in the right place or the right people. I feel at times that some who I expect to respect me or understand myself are those who badly hurt me. For some, I can tell them straight if they are becoming unfair, or I may answer you with words nobody would like to hear – but this does not often happen because I would always choose to be silent, to cry alone and just think of my children where I can find heaven.
Well, of course, everyone would not like to hear abusive words; I guess when somebody says, “f**k you,” extending the middle finger of the hand to your face, that would be the foulest. Or maybe when a trusted friend questioned something you did not expect, and it seemed like you were outcasted just because of a belief you both do not share.
What is worse is when people who hurt you feel everything is okay. The nerve to smile and say they loved you when it was easy to disrespect you. It is funny that during arguments, it seemed like the person would like to kill you to dust. And how would it be easy for anyone to re-learn to accept the person back?
Maybe a person feels uncomfortable being vocal to all or is used to counting backward 20 so we can control, perhaps, anger or the bouts of emotions. But yes, we also tend to answer back badly if we continue to hear silly words about those we immensely love, even after counting backward. What is love to us when we have limits and boundaries to whom we would love? How would we say we are at peace when we think most people dislike us and that everyone is against us?
We must reflect on why it is hard for us to love others. We need to reconcile and forgive those experiences that hurt us badly. Do not ignore them – we must burn those memories that stop us from moving on. Remember that there is much joy in this world – and at times, it may be difficult to understand other perspectives. We have become so rigid, believing that people cannot change. Please, we are never perfect, but we can be at least fair to all. Do not just eye on those many we think deserve because we also need to hear the stories of the few.
Equality does not always exist in life – that is the saddest truth. One can say that the present situation is unfair. They may identify proof that one is to be blamed for issues or matters needing prompt action, but listening to that person would please God. Some are not fighters and remain silent because they do not like war. Or because they felt they were not heard and judged immediately without hearing their thoughts. Aren’t we all failing at times to discern what is right? I believe giving each other every chance to be heard is best.
And then, when we are wrong, would it be so hard for us to admit our mistakes? Admission of our inadequacies or failures is humility and the desire to correct the errors. Pretending that everything is okay, I am afraid I must disagree. Whether you say it is being professional, but that is not being true to yourself. Hence, communication is a tool for peace.
Yes, in some circumstances, we may delay communication. This is good for me because days may help us contemplate and express our anger without the person we are in bad blood, not causing emotional or physical damage. Space may help us think about our actions that may have hurt others. We can breathe in and out, ponder, and in time, be ready to ask forgiveness by heart if we did wrong. We also must not think of who wins the battle – because we are already victorious in reconciliation. Nothing is wrong with friends or people arguing to see the truth, but ending the relationship is not.
Most of all, we need to be compassionate with ourselves. And it is okay to cry because tears pour out our pains, reducing the pain felt - maybe not immediately, but in time. Most importantly, let us all forgive ourselves and forgive others too.