Dear Dr. Fritz,
Good day. Please call me Mariz. My husband is gay. We have two children. He confessed to me lately that he is gay. But, even if he is gay, he still loves me and wants us to stay together in marriage, but he can no longer make physical contact with me. I feel that I am betrayed after all these years. But, I want to believe that we will stay together forever. I still love him, and sex is not that important to me anymore. I still fear that he will leave me and our children by the time our children graduate. We fight all the time now, and it’s starting to affect our children. He said he is not interested in finding another relationship. I am confused. What should I do?
Please help me. Thanks for your response.
Mariz 2024
Dear Mariz 2024,
You need to address directly to your husband about your feelings of anger and betrayal. In my perspective, your husband still wants you both to stay together, but, it’s just that he is not ready to accept the truth. And if you continue living together, if nothing happens, it can never be tolerated. Instead of hoping that you will live forever with him, start to develop more security for yourself and do not just trust anyone. Your belief that he will not be in a relationship with other than you might push you to the edge because it might be the opposite of what would happen. Because you already know that he knows himself fully at this time, there is a very good chance that he will try to be with the person whom he is sexually attracted to in the near future.
Expect more. Don’t expect less.
So, instead of putting up a fight with him, brace yourself for strength. Plan with your family and friends, so you can get the support you need in these difficult times.
Good luck!
Dr. Fritz
(Dr. Fritz Legarde Espedilla is an aesthetic dermatologist, surgeon, and clinical sexologist. She is also trained in hypnotherapy and Medical Acupuncture. She has been in the broadcast media for more than a decade and has written a book based on her 15-year stint, with her radio program, “Healthy is Sexy Secrets ni Dr. Fritz.”. For your questions, you may send them to Dear Dr. Fritz, c/o Sunstar-Davao Publishing Inc., Door 11, Ebro-Pelayo, Building 1, Juan Luna St., Barangay 29-C, Davao City, or e-mail them to dokatlaw@gmail.com. If you don’t wish your letter to be published, we regret that we cannot answer them. Thank you for your understanding.)