ARE you tired? Most of us are. All you have to do is look at the people around you. There is an overwhelming weariness, perhaps even a sense of helplessness in people. Look at how people walk and talk. There is a slowness of speech and a stooped gait as if the whole world is on our shoulders. There is little laughter much less smiles because perhaps there is little to smile about. We do not have to list the reasons. We know them by heart because our soul screams them. A gloom has settled. And there is nothing we can do about it. Every day we go through the routine of hoping against hope, fighting to make sense of what is senseless. Our coffee lacks sugar and the sugar hoarders have a killing. Every week we cringe as fuel prices fluctuate. We do not know what the next shortage could be. Veggies, wheat, decency, perhaps even common sense. We are tired of the lack of sugar. We are tired of stupidity and yes we are tired of being tired. But do we have a choice?
A couple of weeks ago Chona and I went on a break. We left the traffic and the dreariness and drove all the way to the Benedictine Monastery in Bukidnon for a weekend of silence. It was worth it. The quiet, the drive, the stillness, the three thirty dawn Matins, and the choir that did not sing like they were in a concert. And yes the raisin bread. Well, actually it was raisin with bread. (You should try it.) But that weekend was more than a break.
It was a shrugging off. We needed to go because two years of pandemic and its struggles do take a toll. The heaviness and the helplessness can wear you down. And we needed something, anything to shed or even exorcize the feeling of dullness. It was a long ride both ways but we were blessed with rain and a Spotify playlist I created, Summer Rain.
We arrived home, we were tired but it was a good “tired.” Somehow it was lighter. Someday I hope it will be light. For now, we have returned to becoming tired again. The daily grind, the harsh truth of day-to-day problems. But we cannot give up even if we see so many who have.
It is not human to give up. But in the same breath, it is so human to despair, to be a world-class sipsip, to be greedy and corrupted. It is a choice that we face as soon as we wake up to another day that can promise or curse.
Me? I have learned to take it day by day and trust in a God who knows what is at the bend of the road. I do what must be done even if sometimes I do not feel like doing it. I try to find a reason or a reason finds me.
God knows everything and every one after all.