AN OFFICIAL from the Davao City Population Office gave some tips to parents on how to maintain their teenage sons and daughters’ independence while being close to them.
Norie Mae David, population program officer under the Adolescent Reproductive Health Program Coordinator at the City Population Office, said in a radio interview on Davao City Disaster Radio (DCDR) on Monday, March 4, 2024, that adolescence is a time when children go through many changes. Most adolescents typically spend their time alone and want to do things on their own.
She highlighted some things that the parents must do to manage and handle the situation.
First, they should support their child in their interests and hobbies. If teenagers feel that their parents are supportive of them, it makes them feel valued and trusted.
Second, parents should boost the self-confidence of their children because it will have a big impact on them, especially in their adulting stage. They should also not scold them in front of other people.
Third, parents are advised against being judgmental about the things that their children do. Instead, they are advised to understand their children and support them in any way they can.
David added that parents should also respect the emotions of their children and give them chances to share their ideas and opinions, particularly when it comes to the family, for them to feel that they belong.
When it comes to privacy and safety concerns, parents must set rules so that their children will know their boundaries.
David also said that parents are the first teachers of their children; they are the ones who must give the correct information. If the parents feel awkward explaining, particularly when it comes to sex, they can ask for help from counselors or educators.
She added that parents should let their teens take responsibility for their actions. They have to let them know that they did something wrong, that they made a mistake, and that there’s room for correction.
She also said that parents should also help their children to gain trust. If the children want independence, they need to be responsible and let them start doing things on their own. Teach them financial literacy so they know how to save money and how to spend it wisely. Help them learn to cook because it is a life skill. These basic skills will help them not to depend too much on someone.
Parents should also ask their teens how to prioritize things and teach them to list the activities from the most important to the least important ones. For them to maximize their time, they must have a list of what to do every day.
They must also teach them how to be safe; remind them that if it’s not a safe place, don’t go. Do not go with strangers, especially if you just know them through social media.
The children should know whom to call in distress. They must know the emergency numbers for them to be empowered and equipped during emergencies.
David then encouraged the parents that it is a matter of explaining and letting them understand where mutual trust and respect must be exercised.
“Be always present for your children or your adolescent because we are their safety net. Maski unsa man ilang nabuhat na mali or nagkamali man sila, kabalo sila nga naay suporta gikan sa ilang ginikanan. If you trust independence, sa ilaha, it will help them gain self-confidence and empowerment (Be always present for your children or your adolescent because we are their safety net. Even if they are wrong or they did something wrong, they know that their parents are still there to support them. If you entrust them with independence, it will help them gain self-confidence and empowerment),” she said.
“It will help them to make better versions of themselves… wala may edad sa kung kanus-a nimo sila i-allow, you as parents will know sa tan-aw ninyo if kaya na ba nila. In what way? By simply doing things that will develop their independence, that will help them to be better adults in the future (It will help them to make better versions of themselves… because there is no specific age when is the best time to allow them, you as parents will know if they can do it. In what way? By simply doing things that will develop their independence, that will help them to be better adults in the future),” she continued.
The Population Office is ready to accommodate children if they need someone to help and guide them. Even in schools, they have facilities like clinics and guidance offices; the youth or children can go and ask questions, especially if they have concerns that they can't ask their parents. Erica Villacastin/DNSC Intern