WE recognize anniversaries as one of the most meaningful moments in our lives. It is like a milestone, especially in any relationship or business. But what if it is a death anniversary?
Does the pain still linger? Is it still the same pain? Does letting go allow emotional healing?
We just celebrated the death anniversary of my brother Joel. Last year, my columns for many weeks were about him and the loss of a loved one.
Death is so tragic when no one expected it to come. Death is so devastating when you have dreams of being with that person. It is so heartbreaking when you have not prepared yourself at all.
They say the pain that death brings remains forever in our hearts, but we continue to live. We can empower ourselves by carrying and respecting their memories for a more fulfilling life.
Grieving is a natural response to loss. It is something we cannot avoid, especially when we are hurting. But as we recall all the beautiful memories we shared with our departed loved ones, is it not more meaningful to remember them with a smile?
I always recall how my brother would call late in the evening. I can never forget when he would surprise me with “What do you need?” which would leave a gentle smile on my face.
The last conversations are always unforgettable.
“Explore. Go to America. Discover the world. Don’t confine yourself to just one place. Do not waste your skills and abilities. Allow yourself to grow.” And the conversation continues.
Then feelings of regret come in. You’d ask so many whys and what-ifs. Death always comes with regrets from those left behind.
Regrets are those you want to do, but you always find excuses not to do them. Regrets are born out of a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. And unfortunately, for some, out of love and attention.
Our regrets make us sad, guilty, or ashamed. We experience a range of negative emotions, especially when we think of opportunities we missed or the choices that didn’t go right.
But we cannot live fully with feelings of regret. Although challenging, we need to overcome this for our personal growth and well-being.
Let’s focus on the present and the positive. We redirect our energy to positive actions while we reflect on the missed opportunities. Regrets often keep us chained to the past, so new experiences become hazy.
When we overcome regret and grief, we adopt a proactive mindset and become resilient.
The pain is still evident one year after the death of my brother. It may not be as painful when I heard about the heartbreaking news. But the pain is still there. I guess it stays forever.
But acceptance always leads to healing. We can always find ways to honor and remember our departed loved ones.
In my case, I will continue writing about him. I will share his stories so he will live forever in our thoughts and hearts.