THERE'S a new word making its way into conversations: otrovert.
Not an extrovert. Not an introvert. Something that seems to exist somewhere outside, or perhaps between, the two.
When you type otrovert on your laptop, a red wavy line appears underneath it, signaling an error. The word is not yet recognized by the dictionary.
Not yet.
But perhaps that is the point. Some things become real in our conversations long before they find their way into dictionaries.
Extroverts are often described as people who thrive in the company of others. Put them in a crowded room and they seem to draw energy from the people around them.
They are friendly, active, and often the life of the group.
But an extrovert may sometimes be perceived as loud, impulsive, or someone who unknowingly crosses personal boundaries. And sometimes you’ll hear people say, “Sobra na sya.”
Then there are introverts.
They are often described as people who need time alone to process their thoughts and recharge. They may not feel the need to constantly interact with others, especially when the conversation feels superficial or meaningless.
And because they are quiet, introverts are sometimes mistakenly labeled as shy, antisocial, snobbish, or unfriendly.
And then comes the otrovert.
They can be sociable, but they are equally comfortable being alone. They may have friends, but they prefer a few meaningful connections over a long list of casual acquaintances.
They can participate actively in a group but usually when the people, situation, or purpose matters to them.
They can stay home without feeling lonely. They can attend a gathering without feeling the need to mingle with everyone.
And they can have their own opinions without feeling pressured to follow what the group expects.
Perhaps this is why the term resonates with many people. Because, in one way or another, we may be otroverts.
Have you ever encountered people who seem so quiet and speak only to people they are comfortable with?
And because they don't readily engage, we quickly call them snob, maldita, or unfriendly.
Have you encountered someone who seems nonchalant? Someone with a calm composure even under pressure, someone who appears unbothered even when everyone else is reacting?
In street slang, we might call it “dedma.” Others might dismiss it as “walang pakialam,” and say it with a negative tone.
We often judge people by what we can immediately see.
We see the quiet person and assume she is unfriendly. We see the talkative person and assume he is confident.
We see someone who keeps to herself and conclude that she doesn't care. We see someone who constantly mingles and assume that he is happy.
We see behavior. We don't always see the story behind it.
Richard Bach, in his famous book Jonathan Livingston Seagull, wrote: “Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding.”
Perhaps that is something we need to practice more often. Look beyond what the eyes can see.
Give people the freedom to be different from us. After all, we don't need everyone to behave the way we do for us to respect them.
Bach also reminds us: “You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way.”
So, be yourself. But perhaps being yourself also means giving others the freedom to be themselves.
Be good to yourself. Be good to others. And before you judge someone by what you see, take a moment to look with understanding.
