I HAD the opportunity to speak to a crowd of parents of Senior High School students at the Philippine Science High School. My talk focused on "Guiding Young Adults to Find Success in Life," specifically addressing the invisible pressures our young adults face today.
One significant pressure is the expectation to have “everything figured out.”
Young adults often experience existential anxiety because they are constantly urged to find their passion or purpose in life or in a career path. When they struggle to find these answers, especially if their peers seem to have already found theirs, they may start viewing themselves as failures from an early age.
They can’t help but ask, “Why do they know what they are doing while I don’t?”
Another pressure is the urgency to succeed quickly. Young adults feel the need to receive awards and recognition, becoming so involved in both academic and extracurricular activities.
When they reach college, impatience and burnout can set in. We’ve all heard stories of students who excelled in high school but falter in college, likely because they are already feeling burned out.
Social media also contributes to these pressures through the illusion of perfection. When young adults see curated images of happiness and success online, they may compare themselves unfavorably: “Why do they seem beautiful? Why are they so happy? Why are they experiencing such fabulous events while I’m not?”
This often leads to comparison fatigue, and in worse cases, they might be subjected to bullying for sharing their own experiences.
Additionally, there is an expectation for young adults to be mentally strong at all times. They feel they must always appear resilient and positive, leading them to believe it is unacceptable to not be okay.
They feel a constant need to know what to do, especially given the high expectations from elders. When young adults find themselves asking, “Am I enough?” and begin to answer with a “no,” it signals a red flag.
These are just a few examples of the invisible pressures young adults encounter that often go unnoticed by parents. Tragically, just an hour after my talk, the devastating news of Emmanuelle Atienza’s death by suicide circulated online, underscoring the urgency of this issue.
These invisible pressures can make it seem like everything is just fine when it is not.
As parents, friends, and elders, we must start to redefine success. We should emphasize growth over perfection, reminding them that no one is perfect and no situation is flawless.
Throughout life, we will face challenges and trials, but these do not signify the end. Every challenge presents an opportunity for a fresh start.
We also need to listen when young adults share their experiences and struggles. They want to be heard, not managed. Elders often have the tendency to jump in with solutions or advice, forgetting that young adults need someone who understands and cares.
We should avoid comparisons; the journey of older generations is not the same as that of the current generation. Each person has unique path and pace. We can encourage young adults to focus on their own journeys rather than compare themselves to others.
As parents and older individuals, let us model what healthy ambition looks like: working hard while also allowing time for rest, striving for goals while being kind to ourselves.
Young adults are in the process of establishing their identities. We should support them rather than pressure them.
It’s time to shift our focus from pushing for performance to nurturing growth and self-worth. Let us work together to prevent another tragic loss of life due to overwhelming pressures and disappointments.