QUESTION: Who is the first accountant in the world?
Answer: Adam, in the garden of Eden, he turned a leaf and made an entry.
There are three kinds of accountants in the world: those who can count and those who can’t.
A magazine ran a poetry writing contest setting out the rules for submission. The poem had to rhyme, be brief, and appeal to most people. And the winner was – PAY DAY.
According TO Poet laureate Felix Garcia, “Rhyme does not pay.”
St. Peter interviewed a new arrival:
“While on earth, did you ever drink?”
“No Sir”
“Ever go with women?”
“No Sir.”
“Ever gambled then?”
“No Sir”
St. Peter said, “What took you so long?”
Neurotics build castles in the air. Psychotics live in them. And, psychiatrics collect the rent.
The lie is an abomination to the Lord but damned helpful in getting out of trouble.
When the municipal council decided to build a fountain outside the town hall, they put the project to tender and got three quote from contractors in Manila, Bicol and Pampanga.
The town clerk interviewed the Manila Contractor and asked the price, Contractor “Php30,000” was the reply. “And how do you break that down,” asked the clerk
“That’s 10,000 for materials, 10,000 for the workers, and 10,000 for me.”
The town clerk called in Bicol.
The clerk called in the Bicol Contractor who quoted a price of P25,000. “And how do you break that down,” asked the clerk. That’s 10,000 for materials, 10,000 for workers, and 5,000 for me.”
The clerk called in the Pampanga Contractor whose price was P55,000.”
“And how do you break that down,” asked the clerk. The Kampampangan Contractor said. “7.5 for you, 7.5 for me and we give the job to the Manila Contractor.”
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