FOUR people were in the same compartment on a long train journey: a young woman, a priest, a businessman, and a drunk. All had been quiet for an hour or two. All of a sudden, the young woman started sobbing. The priest bent over to console her. “Tell me why you are crying,” he said.
The girl sniffed and said: “I have just learned that I am illegitimate.”
The priest replied, “That’s no sin. As a matter of fact, I am illegitimate myself.”
Then, the businessman spoke up. “Excuse me, I can’t help overhearing, but I must tell you that I am a self-made man. I own several businesses here and abroad, in fact I’m a billionaire, and yet I am illegitimate as well.”
The drunk took out a cigarette and asked, “Any of you bastards got a light?”
r*****
Another group of four people were discussing why the railway was losing money.
“Hopeless management,” said an old gentleman.
“Too many lazy employees,” said the woman by the window.
“Corruption,” said another.
The fourth person was about to give an opinion as the train stopped. An inspector got on board and they all jumped out.
*****
Each time the train stopped at the station, the little old man would get up, walk to the door, look out, and said, “Oh damn!”
Every station it was the same until a young man exasperated by such behavior asked the old man what’s wrong.
“Damn, on the wrong train!”
*****
The middle-aged had just settled in the compartment for long journey.
As the train pulled out of the station, he asked, “Comfortable dear. Is the seat soft?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Not feeling any draught?”
“No.”
“Good,” he said. “Let us change places.”
r*****
It was a new and fast train and halfway the journey there was a violent vibration. “What was the trouble back there?” asked a passenger. “I thought this was supposed to be a smooth ride.”
“Sorry sir,” said the porter. “We ran over a politician.”
“Goodness, what was he doing in the tracks?”
“Oh, he wasn’t on the tracks, but we got him.”