I TICKED off three entries from my bucket list this past week. I became a published author for a peer-reviewed journal, and I also joined their new roster of article editors.
The next day, one of my paintings was chosen as a cover photo in an online national art group. Yeyy! I know it sounds really geeky but hey, these things really make me happy! I consider them as worthwhile achievements. It is a big deal to me. We all have those wants and dreams that mean so much to us, no matter what other people think.
Others may think it silly or insignificant, but to us, they count. Things that we want to achieve and become borne out of our gamut of influences and experiences.
As we go through life, events shape us and give birth to our own perceptions and ideas about things and about ourselves. These things may be in a constant state of flux, depending on how events affect us at any given time, but nevertheless they serve as guides and benchmarks through life.
Not uncommon, we compare ourselves to others, especially our peers. We do sometimes feel that we have not done enough nor achieved enough.
Worse, there are those moments when we feel like we pale in comparison to how “stellar” their life is, compared to us. Well, it happens.
We have often tried to console ourselves with such encouraging words like “your time has not come yet” or find solace when we remind ourselves that “the only person that you need to compare yourself to is yourself.” Right.
Has it really given you that peace of mind that you need? Maybe. Sometimes. Realistically though, we know we want to better. We want to be more. But that does not happen all the time. Even when you work hard for it. Not as fast as you would want it to be. Ugh.
Well, it is part of growing up. It is part of our lives. Why we get stuck with wanting to measure up to the standards set by others rather than just basing it on our ability to improve ourselves? Hmmm, we all have our own explanations. Or excuses. I just think sometimes, when I lie awake at night worrying about how my life is epicly failing compared to others, how awfully unforgiving we can be to ourselves. Why is that?
Is it because we know we are capable of doing better but never really bothered to exert maximum effort?
Is it because we would rather wish for success and achievement to come in a silver platter, rather than work hard for it? And what about all those times that we did exert all that we could but still came up wanting? Where’s the justice in that? Ugh. Don’t you just hate adulting?
Sometimes I wish I could just say to the universe: “After much reflection and deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that being an adult is not for me. Thank you for the opportunity, but no thanks, I would rather be a kid my entire life.” Hahaha. Don’t you wish that sometimes?
When I have feelings like this, I remind myself of the things that really make me happy. I remind myself of simple dreams and wishes that I had growing up that I know I could still achieve even now that I am an adult.
I figured that rather than wallow in self-pity and feelings of inadequacy, I would rather “reclaim” myself by achieving things that are simpler but are equally fulfilling and worthwhile. Like in my case, just being able to write for a wide-reaching local paper is enough.
Writing for SunStar is a gift. And it ticked off one of my earliest childhood dreams off my bucket list! My recent writing-related accomplishments are bonuses. Still, I am immensely God-thankful for them!
No dream is too small or seemingly absurd to anyone who realizes that they mean something.
Look at me.
I find joy in being able to cross my legs. Funny right? But you see, there was a time when I could not even lift my legs because I was either too fat or too sick. Now, I can do it and I see it as an achievement!
I am also happily amused that I can now climb up and down the stairs. There were four years in my life when I couldn’t and four months when I could not even walk. Now that I am able to do so without even holding the railing just makes me thankful!
In addition to that, I can now ride jeeps, tricycles, go parasailing, scuba diving and will probably take flight riding an ultralight plane! I guess some would dismiss these as totally worthless, childish things and say “So what?” These may be regarded as mere indulgences rather than grown-up achievements that pay well and serve as signs of success but to me, it means success over repeated brushes with unfortunate events and near-deaths. It is my own set of benchmarks.
We all have our own set of must-dos that make us feel whole, accomplished and happy. Sure, outside influences carry their own weight but we should never lose sight of what means most to us. That is the biggest deal. It goes without saying that with these “small victories,” their inherent worth to us can pretty much translate to riches with much more weight than gold. They are a big deal and pretty much a big aspect of our journeys.
Nothing is ever too small nor did anything deem insignificant, as long as it matters to you.
In the end, it should be all about how it makes you feel that matters most, everything else should be secondary.
Happy Sunday folks! :)