(Foreword: This is the continuation to our response to Myrna of Digos regarding her fears on refusing to make love with her husband because of her migraine.)
DEAR Myrna of Digos,
And now, we are truly at the end of the road.
I know and I understand how migraine attacks could get in the way to that supposed romantic evening. So, think how you can get in the mood. Think of things which could trigger that migraine terror attack. Keep off those red wine or other alcoholic drinks, or even some chocolates, or even foods laden with MSGs, or whatever foods you think your migraine attack would be awaken up. You might also keep those flowers away. Oftentimes, if you have allergic sinusitis, as well, this could trigger off a migraine attack. You might also want those music low or keep the lights low, if not out. Well sad to say, you can’t tell your partner not to wear anything except perfume or cologne this time... hehe. This is the time, you’ll tell him not to wear anything... hehe... is that a better demand?
Always remember this basic adage. Communication is the foundation of better sex, if not the best sex, or the heart of sex. That is why, it is very elementary and important that you have to let your partner know how your headaches affect your life, especially with your love making with him. Don’t suffer alone. It’s good if you are only making love to yourself. But, dear, you are making love with your husband, he has the right to know your feelings and your emotions intertwined with it. How could you give your best well or give the best performance of your life, if you are not feeling well. If that is so, you will not only be affected by migraine, but, both of you – and even your relationship will suffer. So, tell him. That’s a tall order!
In this case, you can take your husband with you when you have your appointment with your physician, so, he’ll understand how you are feeling and how you are coping with it and he’ll understand for a not so romantic environment for such a romantic evening with you. You could also get some couples counseling. I would suggest this counseling because I believe it is valuable considering the impact on how migraines can affect a relationship.
Well, I hope that helps. Good luck!
Dr. Fritz
(Dr. Fritz Legarde Espedilla is an aesthetic dermatologist and surgeon and a clinical sexologist. She is also trained in hypnotherapy and Medical Acupuncture. She has been in the broadcast media for more than a decade and has written a book based on her 15 year stint with her radio program, “Healthy is Sexy Secrets ni Dr. Fritz.” She is also a faculty in a College of Pharmacy. For your questions, you may send them to Dear Dr. Fritz, c/o SunStar-Davao Publishing Inc., Ebro-Pelayo Building, Jacinto St., Davao City, (former Department of Foreign Affairs office), across Ateneo de Davao University and beside Holy Child School of Davao, or you e-mail them to dokfritz@yahoo.com. If you don’t wish your letter to be published, we regret that we cannot answer them. Thank you for your understanding.)