I’VE written about this subject six times since 2006 so believe me, I’m as tired of writing about it as you probably are of reading it. Nevertheless, my sister insists I write till everyone gets it. So for as long as I can still be sufficiently inspired or riled to write about it, I will.
Don’t ASK for a Christmas gift. No matter how culturally ingrained this practice is in the Filipino psyche, take a moment to clear your mind of cobwebs and recognize that it is NOT appropriate to “ask” for a gift.
Don’t RESERVE for a Christmas gift. If the prospective gift-giver deems it necessary to include you in her Christmas list, your gift will no doubt arrive, even without reservation.
Don’t COMPLAIN about the Christmas gift you receive. This is NOT an item you received in exchange for money paid. A gift is a product of a unilateral and voluntary act. No return, no exchange either. Please.
Don’t SPECIFY what kind of Christmas gift you want UNLESS you are asked to verbalize your heart’s desire by the prospective gift giver. While wish lists are common, I don’t believe it is good manners to “suggest” (aka gently dictate) to others what you want to receive from them—UNLESS they ask you to. If you’re not asked, keep your shameless suggestions to yourself.
Don’t GO BALLISTIC when you don’t get a Christmas gift. You may have been expecting it and you may feel that you deserve it but you should endeavor to remember that gift-giving, though customary, is not obligatory. Reserve your rage for a better cause.
And please don’t POST the gift you received on social media, naming the gift giver. Your intentions may be good but the post can make things awkward for the gift-giver who may NOT have given other friends gifts or gifts of the same value as yours.
Do acknowledge a gift when it’s received (in private). In the case of corporate Christmas give-aways distributed to thousands of clients as tools for institutional advertising, however, there is no need to acknowledge their receipt if it is not practical to do so.
Do regift rather than let a gift you have no use or inclination for, sit in your closet for years. But make sure the gift doesn’t return to its original giver. The item regifted should be unused and undamaged. And no feelings should be hurt in the process of regifting.
Do have the conviction to cross out from your list, serial, delinquent gift recipients. I’m talking about those who have NEVER acknowledged any gift you have sent them since birth. It’s as if they’ve fallen off the face of the Earth so you might as well regard them as having truly fallen off the face of the Earth.
In my case, I gave my godchild (and his parents) 15 years to send me proof of life. No sign of life since baptism. Emboldened by friends who, with a heavy heart, finally decided to excise names off their Christmas lists, I found my daring too.
Truth be told, I want to retire from this topic. But my sister won’t cease haranguing me. As I write this, she’s already crossed out 20 names from her list. She says she’s been reduced to writing her mobile phone number down on her Christmas gifts so her godchildren can acknowledge her gifts. One or two have responded. The others, we must conclude, have miserably failed to learn how to read or use a mobile phone.