IN this season of baseball bat-bearing women, I wonder if any man is truly worth killing for. While there may be no intent to kill, when emotions run high and feelings overflow, rage can push even the most sedate among us to do things we otherwise would never dream of doing.
That’s why there are crimes of passion.
I’ve always been painfully aware of how my passions can get the better of me. While I’ve never carried a baseball bat and gone after some woman who supposedly stole my man from me, funnily, that scenario has actually and partially played out in my life. Luckily, my violent tendencies did not get the better of me. And thankfully, I went on to live happily.
So now I can tell you from experience that it is really better to be prudent than violent.
Why is a woman’s first instinct to attack “the other woman” when she loses her man? Well, it could be because the other woman is easier to attack than her man. But it could also be because society often has the impression that women are temptresses that start it all so all blame must be heaped on “the other woman” when infidels fall.
I find it unjust, though, why women prefer to blame other women instead of subscribe some or equal blame to men in cases of infidelity. Are women under the impression that men never move out of the infantile stage in their lives hence they are incapable of saying no?
The reality is that a man who does not wish to be stolen cannot really be stolen. Temptation is everywhere but if your man succumbs to the first lure then he is not worth keeping at all. If you really want to get even, you should give him away.
When your man leaves you for another woman, he breaks your heart but he commits no crime. People fall in and out of love every day. That needs to be understood and accepted. I’m talking about two-timing men. Now that is another matter.
A man who doesn’t have the courage to break up with you is not worth your while. But a man who doesn’t want to break up with you but wants to be with other women too is just the kind of man you want to auction away for a good cause.
I suppose we can blame it all on the spell that love puts us under. Or why would women debase themselves trying to get unworthy men back? It hurts when love dies. But do we really think so little of ourselves?
It’s International Women’s Day. And I wish all women everywhere would wake up to the realization that if you have to keep taking tabs on your man, he’s not worth keeping. Quit the detective work and move on with your life. Or move on to another man, whichever makes you happier.
Whatever choice you make, what matters is that you keep your dignity and self-respect. Having a man in your life can be a good thing. That is, if the man in your life is a good man. Otherwise, your passions and energies are better spent elsewhere.
Don’t wail. Don’t grovel. Don’t waste your tears. Seek not to inflict injury to persons or damage to property. A two-timer isn’t worth your time or jail time. If you have to be with a man, be with someone who brings out the best in you, not someone who brings out the baseball bat out of the closet.
Of course, I’m a love expert on hindsight.
(sunstarcebucolumnist@yahoo.com, @melanietlim on Twitter)