WHEN the children were still very young, one of them broke a glass. I overheard the nanny say, “Why did you throw the glass?”
The answer of the child came in very soft tones. “I threw the water, yaya, but the glass went with the water.” I listened to the equally soft tone of the nanny’s answer. “Next time, give back the glass of water to me. I will take care of it.”
All of the family was within hearing distance and we laughed. My late husband commented, “See what can be accomplished when you don’t defend yourself by shouting?”
One of the witty daughters told her dad, “Go and do likewise!”
We had all been the recipient of his explosive temper. However, when the children started growing up, he learned to curb his unbridled temper. Of course, it took usually someone to say in a sing-song voice, “Mt. Hibok-Hibok is about to erupt.” Laughter is also one of the helps to thwart a temper tantrum.
Even your dog understands that if it keeps barking loud and you shout at it, the dog barks louder. However, if you fondle the head and say softly “Hey, hey,” it obeys.
We all still remember a friend’s witty remark when she was standing in a long queue and the fellow in front of her shouted at the cashier and said, “Who am I to be treated this way?” In a soft tone, my friend told the cashier to use her megaphone. “Please announce that there is someone here who does not know who he is!” With a glare, the irate man picked up his change and walked away.
Many times I escaped the wrath of my husband with a smile and the word “Bitaw!” (Yes, that’s it!) When in anger, he would say, “How stupid can you get?” My smile with a “bitaw” was the key to prevent a quarrel.
My daughters can get away with a “love you” to anyone about to get angry over a torn borrowed blouse or when a borrowed notebook of a sister gets dirty. Many times when a chore is not done, I get a kiss or a hug. Parents can learn more from their children when it comes to getting away with a scolding.
The greatest example of gentleness I remember came from the Holy Scriptures. The woman supposed to be stoned for adultery, stood before our Lord as one by one her accusers walked away. Our Lord’s silence, while writing on the ground helped diffuse the anger. He then asked, “Is there no one left to condemn you?” She answered, “No one, Lord.”
Our Lord’s reminder came gently, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” Be aware of God’s gentle ways for they reach us too.