DECEMBER is not just the Christmas season but also a popular wedding season. Now, it’s a hashtag-loving era, with a custom catchy "Instagrammable" wedding tag-line for almost every nuptial, turning guests into trigger-happy photographers. I’ve seen this time and again in the many weddings I’ve attended: the poor professional photographer has to fight for his spot in a sea of amateur wannabes with their phones and tablets. Do we really think we can do a much better job than the pro? I mean, c’mon! As guests, all of us have to know our place and keep our behavior in check.
Don't get in the way of the PRO
The stars of the show, the bride and groom, look forward to having their photos taken by the professional photographer they PAID. Don’t get in his way! Let’s all resist that urge to whip out our phones, come closer to the bride as she walks down the aisle or to the altar as the couple says their vows, so we can get a clearer shot. All that we’re doing is succeed at being eye-sores in the background of the real photographer. He has the better equipment and skills!
Don’t post unflattering photos
Even if we have permission to shoot with that hashtag, there are still some lines that must never be crossed: a) If we are privy to seeing the bride before the ceremony, don't post any photos of her wearing the wedding dress before the groom sees her, b) no matter how cute we think a picture looks, resist the urge to post unflattering photos of the bride and groom, and c) if we are going to be a stickler for old-school rules, it is impolite to post pictures of children without their parent's permission.
RSVP, say what?
One of my frustrations in planning a party here in the Philippines is that guests seem to think that this line in the invitation is decorative. DO RSVP, an acronym for the French word: répondez s'il vous plait. It literally means please respond. Do it promptly because the couple makes many decisions based on the number of people who confirm attendance. The same goes for ‘Regrets Only’, meaning respond only if your answer is ‘No’. The head count affects seat assignments, favors purchased, number of meals ordered, etc.
Read the name on the invite
What about my kid and/or other family members or the nanny? Can we bring them? When in doubt, don’t! The best thing to do is check the envelope. Whoever’s name is on there in fancy calligraphy is the one invited. This is not some baranggay fiesta, but this is a formal wedding reception. Calling the bride or groom to ask will merely put them on the spot.
Dress code
The bride and groom want to share their big day with the people they love. We’ve all been invited because we matter to the happy couple. They’ve painstakingly planned for their party, and thus, let’s honor their efforts by wearing what they ask. Stick to the dress code! No ifs, no buts. Let’s look our best by dressing appropriately because chances are, we will have a photo with the couple at some point. We don’t want to be that errant guest sporting jeans in a formal occasion. On the same note, keep in mind that this is not a fashion contest. Please do not dress to upstage the bride. It’s her day!
Be on time
This is one event where we can do away with Filipino Time. If a wedding invitation says that the ceremony will begin at 4, let’s be there by 3:45 because this gives us ample time to get settled, find a seat, or chat with fellow guests. Latecomers run the risk of interrupting the service. Don’t upstage the bride by being fashionably late. It’s neither fashionable nor cool! And for the love of God, don’t just attend the reception. The ceremony is actually the more important part.
Don’t eat and run
Please don’t come to the reception and be there just for the food. Stay for the entire wedding program! On top of that, resist the urge to be a nit-picker that makes “lait” (degrades) everything from the food choices, the ambience, right down to the minute details of the wedding. If we don’t think food is delicious or the choices aren’t classy, let us then keep the cattiness to ourselves. Keep in mind that we are mere GUESTS. We don’t go to people’s houses and belittle their homes. Same rules apply!
Check the registry
The registry is there for a reason so let’s take it into consideration. People these days are getting married a little older. Some are even living together and may have all the basic essentials. Check the registry to ensure that the planned gift is actually beneficial to the couple. Generally, couples pick a mix of high and low priced items; and if done early, we can still get dibs on the affordable ones.
Reign in the kids
If we’ve been allowed to bring our kids to the wedding, please don’t forget to keep a close eye on them. If they have a massive meltdown mid-ceremony or during the reception, the polite thing to do is to take them out. If they’re extra-exuberant and keep on running around the place, either talk to them to stop, or again take them out. A wedding is a formal affair that deserves respect from all the guests, including children.
Have fun
After keeping all of these in mind, let us not forget that this is still a party. So go, have fun. This should go without saying, but it is worth a mention: don’t get drunk. There are many other ways to have a roarin’ good time. That being said, the most important consideration of all is to find an opportunity to tell the bride and groom just how genuinely happy and excited we are for them. Best wishes!
For comments and suggestions, hop-on over to: www.orochronicles.com