While browsing through my Facebook feed, I saw a post from PitikLolko Photography showing a glass swinging door with the "Pull/Hila" sign at the top of the steel door handle, and posted in two separate short bond papers are warnings in all caps and bold font that goes: "WAG ITULAK WAG ITULAK WAG ITULAK" and in the other one says: "WAG ITULAK PLEASE WAG ITULAK PLEASE WAG ITULAK PLEASE MAGTULAK PANGET". I would surmise no one ever pushed that door for fear of being regarded as ugly.
This is similar to the "Bawal Tumawid, Nakamamatay" jaywalking warning signs which seem to work better than the usual "No Crossing" signages in Metro Manila. Talk about hyperbolic statements that I think Filipinos prefer and in Kapampangan, we call it "suno." It's a common phrase in the dialect to refer to pushing the limits using words to acquire the opposite outcome.
I am pretty sure most if not all parents will agree with me that reverse psychology is the best way to pacify and discipline kids especially when they get rowdy and uncontrollable. For example, when my two kids who are both boys start arguing with one another, I will challenge them by saying "Sige, halika kayo sa labas. Mag-away pa kayo. Huwag kayong titigil." Instantly, my older son will say, "Hindi po, Mommy." It's amazing how this tactic works like magic!
This prompts me to wonder, why does reverse psychology seem to be more effective than the usual way of communicating or giving instructions?
According to verywellmind.com, "Reverse psychology is a persuasion tactic that involves advocating for a behavior that is different than the desired outcome. In other words, you say the opposite of what you want. Also known as strategic self-anticonformity, the goal of reverse psychology is to encourage the other person to do what is actually desired."
Further, another source states that "reverse psychology is a strategy for getting what you want by demanding or suggesting what you don’t want. Scientists call it strategic self-anticonformity because your communicated demand goes directly against what you want."
A concrete example is how I would usually instruct my kids when I leave each morning for work. Since I want them to behave themselves and avoid fighting one another, I would tell them: "Sige, magulo kayo para mapagalitan kayo. Mag-away kayo ng kapatid mo, ah." My son will usually react violently and assure me that they will not be naughty throughout the day.
My son's response to my reverse psychology tactic is regarded by psychological experts as reactance. "Reactance is a psychological term that refers to the uncomfortable feeling you get when you feel as though your freedom is being threatened. The natural response, when experiencing reactance, is to do the opposite of what is demanded as a means of expressing your independence. Reactance is at the heart of reverse psychology. The goal of the strategy is to make someone feel this sense of reactance so that they push back against your stated demands. If you’ve demanded what you don’t want, they’ll likely do what you want via reactance."
While reverse psychology usually works to an advantage just like how it usually happens to me, it also has some negative impacts and disadvantages. Since it is considered a persuasion tactic, it can also be regarded as a form of manipulation and people who are subjected to it may feel offended and furious for being controlled and coerced to do something out of their own will.
The tip is to use reverse psychology sparingly because it is not regarded as an open and honest form of communication which may damage relationships with the people we love and even those we work with. If we resort to using it to acquire a person's desired behavior, then I hope that it will always be the last resort.