Am I Running Again (8th of a series)

THE open defiance against a well-entrenched and powerful politician was without its pitfalls. I could not discuss it during our family meals, except with my very supportive spouse who feared for my life. She asked if I was afraid and to which I replied “I have never felt freer in my entire life.” There is no other way to live for me. And that is what I probably learned at the state university, “to bow to reason and not to power,” to quote a friend.

Except for one, I had not had any dealings with the ones who were there at Divisoria Plaza for about eight weeks. There was simply no time to know the personal agenda of the group. I was simply grateful that I was not alone. Passions were high and to balance righteousness and being sanctimonious was a daily concern. Every word was heard, seen and read on mainstream media and most especially on Facebook. Various documents detailing wrongdoing of the administration poured in. Suddenly, the movement created a demon within and without.

Relationships were formed and broken and the effects are still felt until now. At one point, when we had gathered more than half the numbers required to petition the Comelec, the issue of who will run as candidate against the mayor, if and when we succeed in the petition, was discussed. And so it was decided that we send out emissaries to talk to the politicians whom we thought would be willing to be a contender. But there were no takers.

In short, our purely citizen’s initiative had no political figure to forward to the people It was almost midway to the next elections and so short a time to govern with all the resources required to mount an effective campaign and run again after a couple of years. It was not practical. Maybe it was also too early for the other political leaders to openly defy a sitting Mayor. Even the business community, though silently supporting our cause would find themselves in photo ops with the Mayor.

Even the various NGOs and the Church found their hands tied with what is known as “critical engagement.” There were homes to build, there were food and basic needs of the Sendong survivors needing attention. And there was still not a reason not to rock the boat as they say. And when someone in the group said “Abi nako modagan ka busa nisuporta ko ani,” I suddenly lost steam. While it is true that the idea for a recall elections was mine and did lead the group until its eventual demise, I was not that naive to know that I am not even an inch of a David against CDO’s Goliath. Oh, there goes the stereotyping once again.

Furthermore, a check with the signatures gathered revealed more than enough fakes for our recall initiative to fail. We had already announced the date we were to file the petition at Comelec. But until the wee hours our group debated. Majority wanted to file the petition anyway. We have spent precious time, treasure and talent to mount an initiative, only a politician could benefit, and all of us bound only by the desire to save CDO from ills of patronage politics.

But how can we in conscience file the petition, knowing that it included fakes and with no one to take on the leadership of the city. “We may be able to fool everyone but not ourselves,” I countered.

Out of principle and reason we gathered, and so that is what we will proclaim to the world that day. Integrity and good governance has to start with us, and had no right to demand it from others unless we live by them. We felt defeated but we had not lost our values. We may have lost face but not our souls. We gamely faced the media that day and announced that we are recalling our petition to recall the Mayor.