SINCE I got married, my life is always full -- writing, speakership, nursing, and teaching. For the past 18 years, I am engrossed with working because I am convinced that it is through hard work that I can prove my love to my family. Honestly, I am not even comfortable of filing a sick leave because I always feel so incapable and useless when I cannot report to work, plus I feel that I am not living for a purpose. Maybe it is why I almost allot 80 percent of my time to work.

But I decided to start the year 2020 balancing work and family life. I said this time, I should consider my home not just a place to sleep after a tiring day but a heavenly place where I can spend quality time with my husband Rey and children Bea and Macoy. Let me share two of my greatest realizations about nurturing family time and relationships.

1. I get to know my family's hearts desires. I thought my children needs were high-end phones and branded clothes. I was expecting my husband needed more house appliances and expensive car accessories. I was working so dead hard to save and buy them what I thought they need. I never thought a framed family photo in our house is enough to fill them with great joy.

2. I learned to understand my family's fears. I thought my husband and children fear financial instability. I always believed that all of them think what we are going to eat at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I always fear that I wouldn't give them enough. But I was wrong and it hurts me big time when I have discovered that their ultimate fear is to see and feel me in pain and their worst discomfort is to see and hear me cry!

It was just recently that I started to spend a lot of time with my family. It made me realize that I need to value and take care of myself more so I can live longer and healthily for my family.

I was wrong to believe that building a family is primarily becoming a good provider. I thought that even there is less quality time but as long as you are doing what is right to fulfill their needs, then it is great love. I failed to understand that a family is happier when there is deeper love and connection in the family members.

Let us consistently invest time to connect with our husband, wife and kids - we need as parents to be available to our loved ones not randomly but constantly.

Happy Post Valentine's Day!