THE 31st Association of Southeast Asian Nations (Asean) was held in the Philippines from Nov. 10 to 14.

A special Asean Lane was created for the meeting. It was a lane at airports for travelers from the Asean member countries’ exclusive use. Other motorists were banned from using it.

Today’s column might sound stale, but I assure you the meat of the matter is not. I didn’t really want to touch on this topic but my precocious young nephew Pannon reminded me that it is a vital and good idea for my column.

Indeed it is. The country, through the headstrong leadership of President Rodgrigo Duterte as chairman, has made deals with 20 world leaders from the Asean Member States.

The deals include trade, military assistance, Marawi rehabilitation, anti-illegal drugs drive, tourism, health, education, among others.

“Where’s the joke in those, Uncle?” my niece Krystalle asked.

“It’s no joke. It will affect our peace and order and economy, etc. It was Pannon who ordered me to do this. Now where’s the kid?”

“Here, Uncle. I have a joke.”

“Shoot!”

“When is an Asean Lane not an Asean Lane?”

“When it is an ordinary road?”

“No, Uncle. When actress Maria Isabel Lopez uses it, access to a bathroom gain.”

“Rhymy-dimey stuff, Pannon, huh.”

“When is it lucrative to use the Asean Lane?” he asked.

“When you catch offenders and slap them with a P5,000 fine?”

“No, Uncle, that’s the law. It’s lucrative because becoming a notorious star like MIL can gain you movie/TV assignments.”

“That’s straight from MIL’s mouth, you know.”

“What is the best excuse to break the law?”

“Ah, ‘I’m poor’ or ‘My mom is sick’ and so on.”

“That’s reality. MIL used the lane because she said she had to go to the bathroom, but the video she recorded showed an empty street and her voice could be heard shouting something about the Asean Lane.”

“Anything more, Pannon?” I asked.

“Last one. Why is the Asean Lane a kind of truth serum?”

“Hmm...why.”

“Because MIL asked for a 20 ‘percent senior citizen discount’ on the fine she got from the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority and the Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board.”

“Where’s the truth in that, Pannon?” my aunt Tita Blitte asked.

“Lola, she apologized, so she knew she broke the law and it was a kind of an admission she’s no longer young. On record she’s 55.”