‘TIS the season to be jolly but let’s talk about gifts! But instead of gift ideas, here is a list of stuff you should just not buy—at all.

If you’re just as fed up as we are, you’re welcome. (But seriously, we love those who think of us! We treasure your very existence and every gift is a blessing. Thank you! Bye!)

Mugs

The most common gift ever. Thank you for wanting us to stay hydrated. But apart from pouring coffee and water in these (and using it to hold our pens, toothbrush, toothpaste etc.), we’re running out of ideas on where to put them and how else to use them.

Pens

Yes. It’s the thought that counts. But did you seriously really think this through? If we wanted one, we would have bought it ourselves already. We can buy a whole set, you know?

Towel

Unless the towel is just a decoy and the real gift is a surprise beach, hotel or spa trip—we’ve got enough towels to last us a lifetime. In short, 86 this idea.

Calendar

We have phones that have calendars in them. Second, is this how you really want us to feel around the holidays? We’re trying to prolong this season as best as we canm to gear up for what 2019 has in store for us (side note: still waiting on that plot twist). Don’t make us stare next year in the face just yet.

Picture frame

Maybe the frame could come with a photo of us taken from a really well-curated photoshoot, makeup team and all the works? Until this happens, it’s just going to be one of many items kept in storage.

Handkerchief

By giving this, it’s like you’re expecting a lot of crying on our end in the foreseeable future.

Post-its

You should probably buy this for yourself and put on the “list of reminders” not to buy this as a gift—in any occasion. Seriously, no.

Umbrella

It is essential, don’t get us wrong. But is it a fitting Christmas gift? Maybe when it is requested? But if not, well, it’s here on the list for a reason.

Socks

Oh, wow! What is this cottony soft foot stuffer? Look, it also comes in black and gray! Guys, it’s not like these are sold only during the holidays. Try to be more creative.

Fruit Cake

Let’s talk about the dreaded loaf. Throw this sucker against the wall and it’ll stay in shape like it’s got memory foam. People are not even thinking about making one for themselves because they’re sure they’re going to get this as a gift—which is likely the only food on the table that’s untouched. For all we know, that person received that fruit cake for the holidays, didn’t want it and decided to re-gift it.